Day 1: Taking the Next Step Anyway

Today was supposed to be about a treadmill.

At least that's what the picture shows.

35 minutes.

1.05 miles.

Day 1 complete.

But if I'm honest, there was a lot more going on beneath the surface.

June 1st started with my mom having surgery. The surgery itself went well, and I am incredibly thankful for that. But we're still waiting on biopsy results, which means there are still a lot of unknowns ahead.

It's a strange place to be, grateful that one step is behind us while knowing another difficult step may still be ahead.

Part of me feels relieved.

Part of me feels anxious.

Part of me is trying not to think too far ahead.

I think that's one reason I've felt so emotional lately.

There are a lot of things in my life that feel uncertain right now.

There are several areas of my life where I'm still waiting for answers.

Some are personal.

Some are practical.

Some are spiritual.

And if I'm honest, the waiting has been exhausting

There are moments when I wonder if I'm failing.

That's the story my brain likes to tell me when life feels hard.

But deep down, I know how hard I'm trying.

At the same time, I've been walking through one of the most incredible spiritual seasons of my life.

I've been studying Ecclesiastes and wrestling with the idea of Hevel-the Hebrew word often translated as vapor, mist, or smoke.

The more I study it, the more I realize how much of life feels that way.

We try to hold tightly to plans, outcomes, security, and certainty, but so much of life remains beyond our control.

Lately I've been asking myself:

What is my responsibility, and what belongs to God?

I don't think I've fully figured that out yet.

But I am trying to.

What I do know is that my responsibility is to take the next step.

To show up.

To care for my family.

To keep building what is in front of me.

To keep creating systems that help me feel grounded when life feels overwhelming.

To do what I can with what I've been given today.

Maybe that's part of why I bought the treadmill.

Not because I needed another thing to manage.

Because I needed something simple.

A place where the goal was clear:

Take the next step.

There were plenty of reasons not to start today.

My motivation was low.

My mind felt scattered.

Part of me wanted to disappear for a while, find some quiet, and stop carrying the weight of everything for a little bit.

But I started anyway.

And something interesting happened.

I felt better.

Not because the waiting disappeared.

Not because life's demands have disappeared.

Not because I suddenly had answers.

I felt better because I kept a promise to myself.

I started.

I stayed with it.

I finished.

The more I think about it, the more I realize this post isn't really about a treadmill.

It's about waiting.

Waiting for biopsy results.

Waiting for clarity.

Waiting to understand what God is doing.

Waiting while still carrying responsibilities that don't pause just because life feels heavy.

Ecclesiastes reminds me that I don't get certainty.

I don't get control over outcomes.

I don't get guarantees.

What I get is today.

I get the next step.

And maybe that's enough.

Maybe faith isn't always having the answers.

Maybe faith is trusting God while you wait.

So today I walked 1.05 miles.

Not because I had everything figured out.

But because in a season where so much feels uncertain, I chose to take the next step anyway.

Maybe your next step doesn't look like a treadmill.

Maybe it's making a phone call.

Maybe it's resting.

Maybe it's asking for help.

Maybe it's simply getting out of bed and facing another day.

Whatever it is, it still counts.

One step.

One mile.

One day at a time.

And for today, that's enough.