Sometimes It’s Not Procrastination

Today I needed to take care of something.

Truthfully… I’ve needed to take care of several things for a while now.

But I kept pushing them to the bottom of the list because I already knew they were going to require so much mental and emotional energy… and honestly, I didn’t feel like I had that energy to give.

Some days it feels like I’m just trying to survive the 100’s of demands in a single day.

Okay… maybe not literally 100’s. 😂

But enough that my brain feels overloaded before I even begin.

And honestly, I wonder sometimes if anyone has ever actually kept track of how many thoughts, responsibilities, interruptions, reminders, worries, decisions, and random mental side quests happen in one day.

Because my brain definitely turns into avoidance mode when something feels overwhelming.

Squirrel.

Laundry.

Snack.

Bills.

Emails.

Random thought.

Snack, again.

Different task.

Back to original task.

Stare into space for a minute. 😂

And I think that’s what people don’t always understand about procrastination.

Sometimes it isn’t laziness.

Sometimes your mind is simply tired from carrying too much for too long.

Sometimes even small tasks feel heavy when you’ve already been mentally balancing work, caregiving, responsibilities, schedules, bills, appointments, emotions, and everyone else’s needs.

I think a lot of us are walking around mentally overloaded while still trying to function like everything is fine.

We answer messages.

Make appointments.

Cook dinner.

Pay bills.

Handle responsibilities.

Take care of kids.

Show up for work.

Try to remember things.

Try not to forget things.

And somewhere in the middle of all of that, there are still those dreaded tasks sitting quietly in the background waiting for our attention.

The phone call.

The paperwork.

The decision.

The email.

The thing we know we need to deal with… but keep avoiding because even thinking about it feels exhausting.

That was me today.

But eventually, I finally started on some of the things I had been avoiding.

And once I actually got started…

it really wasn’t as horrible as my brain convinced me it would be.

Funny how anticipation can sometimes feel heavier than the task itself.

I’m still learning that carrying the mental weight of avoiding something can sometimes drain more energy than simply taking one small step toward it.

Not ten steps.

Not solving everything at once.

Just one.

One thing.

One step.

One small start is still movement.

And maybe someone else needed that reminder today too.

Especially if your brain has been running in 47 directions all day long.

You’re probably carrying more than people realize. ✨